How to network with unknown contacts on LinkedIn

Some of the most common questions I hear from job seekers are:

And the most pressing, 

The answer to them all is to use soft engagement. This is the better approach than cold-pitching or asking for a referral up front.

The idea with soft engagement is that you first focus on building rapport, then familiarity, and ultimately trust. By doing this, you increase the chances of taking your initial superficial exchange to deeper, more engaging levels. Below are the steps you can take to turn a cold contact into a warm advocate. 

1. Step 1: Identify the right people

   Start by running a LinkedIn search for employees at your target company. Look for:

   • People in similar titles, functions, or levels to the role you’re pursuing
   • People who are active on LinkedIn. That means they are posting, commenting, and/or engaging with others’ content. The more active they are, the easier it will be to naturally begin a conversation.

   

2. Step 2: Observe before you engage

   Go to their profile. Scroll to their Activity section and study what they share or comment on. 

   

   You can even check out posts they react to. This will help you understand what topics they respond to. 

   

   Bookmark their feed (click “Show all posts” → save the URL) so you can revisit it daily.

   

3. Step 3: Start engaging with their content

   Engage thoughtfully with what they share—whether that’s posts, comments, or replies to others.

   Quality commenting looks like:

   • Asking a question:
     • “In the context of this, how do you…?”
   • Offering a short anecdote:
     • “I had a similar experience when…”
   • Presenting another point of view:
     • “Interesting—have you ever considered…?”
   • Opinion about the future:
     • “What are your thoughts on how this will affect…?”
   • Sharing a resource:
     • “This reminds me of [resource] on [topic], have you read/seen it?”
   • Asking for advice:
     • “Given this, what would you suggest when…?”

   Avoid using AI-generated comments. People can spot generic responses a mile away. Be real, be friendly, be curious, and be conversational.

   When you start engaging with their content, chime in a few times a week. If you’re eager to build the relationship, gradually move up to daily interactions. This pace will avoid you coming across as too aggressive.

4. Step 4: Move from engagement to connection

   After a couple of weeks (or about five engagements), send a connection request. Keep it warm and simple:

   “Hey [Name], I’ve enjoyed engaging with your content over the past few weeks. It would be great to connect directly.”

   Once they accept, keep the conversation going. Reference something they’ve posted, ask a small open-ended question, or share an additional perspective. Keep it light and respectful—you’re building trust, not asking for a favor yet.

5. Step 5: Suggest a live intro

   Once you’ve had some casual back-and-forth, suggest a short call:

   “[Name], it’s been great interacting with you here. Would you be open to a 20-minute video call to make a live introduction? I always enjoy meeting the person behind the profile.”

   If they agree to meet, offer a couple of times to make scheduling easy. Send a quick calendar invite (Google Meet or similar). If the call is more than 24 hours away, confirm with them the day before with a quick LinkedIn reminder message.

6. Step 6: Run the live call well

   On the call:

   • Start by asking about them—their role, their experience, and their impression of their company.
   • Use my 20-minute networking guide to structure the conversation.
   • If they ask about you, share that you’re exploring opportunities and learning more about the space, industry, company, etc. This communicates that your searching without putting pressure on them.

   ⚠️

   Do not ask for a job or referral at this point. Remember, the goal is rapport, familiarity, and trust.

   At the end of the call, close with two key asks:

   • “It was great chatting. Is there anyone else you’d recommend I speak with to get additional points of view on the topics we discussed?”
   • “Thanks so much for your time. What can I do to help you?”

   That last question skyrockets your goodwill and likeability.

7. Step 7: Repeat and expand

   Don’t stop with one person. Attempt this approach with several employees at the same company. At large organizations, you’ll have plenty of options without overlap. 

   If you make other contacts at the same company, mention that in your conversations. It shows you’re familiar with the organization, have built (or are growing) relationships inside it, and aren’t coming in as a complete outsider. That familiarity can make them more comfortable helping you and your candidacy.

Wrap-up

Successfully breaking into target companies isn’t about sending cold pitches or asking for favors. Instead it’s about building warm, real relationships. It doesn’t happen overnight but can happen with patience, persistence, and thoughtful engagement. 

Start small with your interactions then move gradually to connection requests, conversations, and hopefully eventual referrals.

Networking works when it’s authentic. Keep showing curiosity, generosity, and consistency, and you’ll stand out as the low-risk, high-value candidate that hiring managers want to meet.